


Cancer

by angelkat



Series: [collection] Rival Argentica (2014-2018) [17]
Category: Angel Beats!
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-01-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:47:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21802411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelkat/pseuds/angelkat
Summary: "It's exactly midnight." She now teetered on her seat as she took both of his hands in hers. "Do you know what that means?"/formerly called Thank You in FFN. reposted Dec 15, 2019. not edited
Relationships: Naoi Ayato/Hatsune Otonashi
Series: [collection] Rival Argentica (2014-2018) [17]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1570921
Kudos: 4





	Cancer

Ayato Naoi stood in front of the cream white door marked as _Room 309_.

It was actually past the visiting hours. But somehow, he'd managed to sneak into the hospital unnoticed, by even the patrolling guards—most of which are sleepy. This hospital has poor security, indeed. A stubborn fourteen-year-old, like him, entering the premises without even being detected, can bring the medical company the mortal shame they deserved. The people here can't even figure out what's wrong with _her_. He hated this hospital for letting her suffer this long a time, only to end up announcing that they couldn't do anything about her. He _loathed_ this cursed hospital. No wonder why the doctors who applied here aren't even so much of the experts they claimed themselves to be, regardless of their numerous PhDs and doctoral certificates (which, anyway, might all be just pathetic fakes). Just…just poor staff.

And, no matter how much he didn't want to admit it, Yuzuru was actually _right_. Hatsune, his younger sister, had to leave for a better hospital—the sooner it is, the better. She was leaving for tomorrow already, which means that this was her last night in Osaka. She had to leave this town and transfer to America for better doctors and specialists to check on her untreatable disease. She had to leave this hospital. She had to leave Japan.

She had to leave Ayato behind.

His hand, which was poised to knock on the door, clenched even tighter in a cold, shivering knot. He knew he should be happy for her, because at least, somewhere else in the world, her disease had hope of treatment. But the idea of her leaving…it pinched his eyes, forcing out tears. His breath hitched, and tears threatened to blind his eyes. He leaned his head against the wall, silent sniffles echoing down the dark hospital corridors. This was the last night he would ever have to see her again, if he just opened the door.

This door, this thick, barricading wall, separating him and his love into two different worlds that would never collide again. If he just knocked, if he just _entered_ …he would see the painful, heart-rending sight of Hatsune lying in her usual white bed, her body suffering from a disease that consumed the life out of her—little by little, second by second, breath by breath. He wouldn't be able to see such a painful sight. He wouldn't. He would have to let her _go_.

Which means it would be a goodbye.

He just knew he had to let her go selflessly if he truly cared for her quick recovery.

But he can't.

He simply _can't_ say goodbye.

Ignoring the arguing screams of his beating heart, he nodded to himself, letting the decision finally dawn onto him. He gingerly kneeled onto the ground once, the tendrils of dark green hair overshadowing his glistening eyes. It looked as if he wanted to stay that way forever, but he know he couldn't—so he immediately stood up straight. Before he could change his mind, he hurriedly left the hospital premises, making sure to keep his hat over his eyes so that regretful tears may never show themselves.

* * *

Hatsune Otonashi waited patiently from the other side.

She expected him to come. Ayato was the only friend she'd ever had in her isolated life, of living in her usual white hospital bed, the blanket chaining her there. She had no other friend, and she valued him more than ever for that—for keeping with her side even though her disease just kept getting worse, for being there when she needed him, for being there to support her.

Even though her chances of living are getting slimmer and slimmer.

Like all other nights, she knew he'd come to bring her books to read. Usually textbooks he had that discussed Japanese history or algae photosynthesis, which were usually boring, so what he did from then on was that he burrowed different graphic novels about mermaids and princes from their school library. A school library…she would always sigh dreamily whenever she thought about it. Were the books really as numerous as Ayato used to tell her? Did it smell like ancient tombstones and Egyptian dust? Was the environment there just as quiet and peaceful? And did the librarians _really_ look like sea-witches?

Or maybe Ayato just had a thing with name-calling.

The thought made her giggle. It seemed as though her dark room suddenly lighted up with her tinkling, little laugh. Just the thought of his smirks, his mischief, his underlying charm through those teasing words that always made her pout, or one of those rare smiles he only gave her as if she was the most special person in the world, or those times of flirtatiousness which would always make her blush—they never failed to make her happy, even in times of solitude in this lonely little room. He was _such_ a goofball. An annoying goofball who, she was convinced, wrote the book entitled _How to Steal a Girl's Heart_.

Because he sure stole hers.

But as the clocked ticked by and the visiting hours closed, the vibrant color of her face drained into pale white. It was like her willpower to keep waiting and hoping was gone. She glanced at the clock, and gasped when she saw it was already ten o'clock—three hours having passed on with her waiting for his expected arrival.

_If he didn't come tonight, I will never see him again…_

The thought made her panic. It was then when the reality came crashing down on her. She couldn't. She _couldn't_. She couldn't leave Japan if she never got to tell him the one thing she'd been hoping to tell him all this time. If he didn't come tonight, she wouldn't be able to live through America.

She couldn't leave him without telling him the one thing she needed to tell him the most.

She waited until the clocked stroke eleven. Then she pulled the catheters out of her skin, threw the blankets away, and fit her little white feet into the bunny slippers from under her bed. Straining her hands, she reached for the faraway walking stick, and successfully tightened her grip around it. But just as she tried to stand up, with effort and difficulty, throbbing series of hammering coughs wracked throughout her thin, frail body, making her drop the walking stick and lose ability to breathe for several seconds.

But as she calmed down and placed a hand on her rapid, weak heart, she nodded to herself, grabbed the walking stick, and bravely walked out of the door. If he wasn't going to see her tonight, _fine,_ then _she_ would see _him._ She was so determined and motivated to see him one last time that she didn't notice the lone, yellow dandelion, gently laid on the doorstep.

Her focus was not at the doorstep. Her focus was getting out of the door.

Thankfully the guards here weren't exactly exceptional.

After Ayato hung his black coat and hat behind the door of his training room, he went straight to working on his pottery in the middle of the night.

He thought that if he spent the rest of the evening, furiously spinning the potter's wheel, constantly distracting himself, keeping his mind from wandering towards her, then…then he would never have to feel the agony.

And so, he robotically sat in front of his designated working spot and started to work. It successfully passed his time, just as he hoped it would, and everything else was forgotten as his hands numbly performed the job, head bowed low in focus, mindless of the silence surrounding him. The movement of his hands became somewhat stiff and robotic, eyes blankly staring intently at the work in front of him.

Seconds turned to hours, and it was about eleven fifty when he finished the last pot he could make with the remaining stock of clay. Numb feet walked him over to the sink, thinking about what he should do next for tomorrow. But first he'd have to tell his father to start refilling their supply. It might be a week of waiting before the delivery came, if that's the case…oh well. Sighing exhaustedly, he turned the faucet off, and brushed his wet, clean hands and face with a white towel. But just as he was about to leave the room, he heard a voice scream his brother's name.

"Hayato!"

His pulse quickened. He knew that voice. He knew who it belonged to.

It _can't_ be.

" _Hayato!"_ the girl screamed again, the sound starting to get dragged faraway.

His nerves got startled.

It was Hatsune.

* * *

Seven blocks ago, she was full of hope to come to his place with a vividness that only Naoi could ever give her.

Vividness died fifty minutes later once she entered their silent property. A night guard in the Naoi residence suddenly called out for her in a warning sort of tone, and, consumed in shock, her wobbling hand accidentally let go of her walking stick and she collapsed onto the ground. So, not being able to run anywhere else, the night guard successfully caught up to her, held her hair back, warning her that she was soon going to be turned in to Naoi's father for the appropriate punishment for trespassing.

Not knowing the medical condition of the fourteen-year-old girl in her apparent hospital gown, his hold onto her was firm and brutal. Pleads went unnoticed as he dragged her across the sandy ground, mercilessly tugging on her when Hatsune resisted to walk. She can't even stand up properly without a stick, but the night guard only thought that she was only being a stubborn girl. So he made the grip on her hand even more painful as it already was.

Hatsune's breath accelerated, and she felt like hyperventilating. Gulping down the coughs that wanted to rise out of her throat in an inflamed itch, she yelled, making sure to call out to him—

"Hayato!"

Only silence echoed back. So she did it again.

" _Hayato!"_

Her frail little voice angered the thug. Annoyed, the guard pulled her harder to him, and grabbed her at the neck. Hatsune struggled, but she was far too weak to fight against a full grown man, angrily staring down at her.

"Listen, you naughty little girl—"

"Put her _down._ "

Both Hatsune and the guard stopped, heads both turning to face the infuriated boy whose hair was a forest of dark green. Ayato stood, behind them, appearing that he'd just struggled himself in a furious run as his chest rose and fell. When the guard remained still, Ayato's features darkened, fists clenching by his side, as if controlling the irresistible urge to punch the ham-fisted oaf.

"But, young Master Hayato, under your father's orders trespassers should be—"

"I _said_ ," he seethed, teeth gritted. "Put her _down_."

The guard shook. Even Hatsune had to shrivel at the daunting threat in his tone. She'd never seen him this angry. She'd never seen him so angry…for _her_.

The goon, however, was still undecided. The guard took one look at the thin girl in his hands, growing even more annoyed at the smirk she'd managed to pull through the dark moonlight and her labored breaths, hoping that it matched Ayato's. The guard hesitated for another second, but, thinking of the fact that he might lose his job, he eventually gave up and put her down—but none so gently. Hatsune slipped over her feet, released a strangled yelp, and she fell—

But Ayato caught her, pulling her to him in a tight hug.

Hatsune securely buried her head in his neck while she coughed in her hands, the force juddering throughout her body. But in each, shivering cough, she felt Ayato's arms around her tighten even stronger, as if telling her that she was safe now.

The coughs subsided, and Naoi whispered worriedly through her hair. "Are you alright, Hatsune?"

Hatsune smiled. "I am now," she said, voice muffled as she buried herself more comfortably in his neck. "Thank you, Ayato-kun."

Ayato let himself smile in relief. But it vanished and morphed into a menacing scowl.

"You." He pointed at the now-shivering guard, intimidated by his young master's glare. "Tell a word to my father and I'll make sure you're _fired_." All the guards here in the Naoi residence knew how their young Master Hayato had the power to do that, even without his father's consent.

Naoi narrowed his eyes into little slits, making sure that every word he said slid into this lout's pea-sized brain. The guard felt like wanting to scream for his mommy, and Naoi let himself smirk at another victory. He sure was getting the hang of intimidating those far older than him.

"Do I make myself clear, Kakinouchi?" he asked, mocking voice sweetly dripping like poisoned honey.

Kakinouchi the Guard wasn't able to answer. It was because he immediately scuttled away in fear, like a chicken about to be placed onto the stove. Ayato chuckled. "Coward."

But suddenly, he felt hands on his chest push him away. He looked down at the pale-looking Hatsune, a vivid smile dancing around in her lips as she looked up at him with her sparkling claret eyes.

"I can't believe you did that for me."

Ayato turned away, face burning an embarrassed red. "I'd do that for anyone." But suddenly he realized what just happened, and he furiously grabbed at her shoulders. He pulled her away from him, just so he could have a better look of her, examining her for any cuts, wounds, or bruises from head to toe. Worried questions came tumbling out of his mouth.

"Hatsune, are you alright?" His hand went from her shoulder to her forehead, sweeping away some her hair so he could stare at her eyes. "Are you hurt? Did you get into trouble? Did he hit you anywhere?"

Hatsune tucked some hair to her ear, inwardly feeling butterflies flutter in her stomach. He was actually _concerned_. Shying away from his touch, she withdrew a little, and said, quietly, "I'm okay, Ayato-kun."

Concerned Ayato transformed into Angry Ayato. "Then what do you _think_ you're doing, you naughty little _knucklehead_?" he lambasted, his tone a scolding reproof. He poked her in the head, not hard enough to actually hurt, but hard enough to discipline. "Sneaking out of the hospital? Going outside in _midnight_? Even if you're _forbidden_? What if you got kidnapped? What if you got run over by a truck? Were you even using your _brain_?"

"Ow!" Hatsune said, rubbing the poor spot on her head where he poked her. "Not too much, Naoi!"

"Might I try again?"

"No!" Hatsune said, laughing, protecting her head with her arms from the incoming onslaught of Naoi Ayato's mighty poke. "Alright, alright, Mother, I get what you mean."

Ayato sighed exhaustedly, rubbing his face with numb hands. Standing from a kneel, Ayato pushed himself up out of the ground and offered her a hand. "Can you stand up? Or walk?"

Grateful, Hatsune almost placed her hand on Ayato's but realized she was hopeless without her cane. "Um…can you please hand over my walking cane?" she said instead, withdrawing her hand, bashfully pointing at the stick tossed out of her reach.

Ayato took one look at the cane, but averted his gaze back at her. "No need for a cane."

Next thing she knew, hands crawled underneath her nightgown, and she was pulled out of the ground by a pair of strong arms that carried her to his training room. Breathless and disbelieving her eyes, she looked up at Ayato, whose didn't even show any sign of struggle—just calmly striding with his long legs, not even seeming to put any effort in carrying her. When he felt her gaze, he looked down at her, and for a second, they connected eyes.

Hatsune was breathless as happiness blew her away, those amber eyes radiating his concern for her as he gripped her even tightly towards his chest. As she cuddled to make herself more comfortable, she smiled up at Ayato and it was even brighter than a thousand stars. The potter smiled one of his rare smiles back—not a smirk, but a real smile—that smile that he gave only to _her_.

For once in her life, she didn't feel her death coming near.

Instead, in his arms, for _once_ her life, she felt _safe._

She cherished the moment by closing her eyes in a dreamy state of consciousness. She felt the steady rhythm of his heart through the hand she'd placed on his chest, and she delighted in the sound, like a song lulling her to sleep. But before she completely blocked out the world—

"Ow!" she cried, the second time in two minutes, after Ayato roughly landed her onto the wooden platform to sit on. Her closed eyes snapped open to find him standing there obliviously, arms crossed over his chest in an exultant kind of way while she rubbed her back, hoping to numb the pain. "What did you do that for, Ayato-kun?"

"You needed a punishment for what you did," he said, simply, and he lifted his eyelids to reveal sardonic hazels, arching an eyebrow to make it even more reprimanding. "Now then. Explanation?"

Hatsune released an exasperated sigh. "Ayato, it's only seven blocks away—"

"You can't even _walk_."

"Uh, excuse me, in fact I can, with my walking sti—"

"It's _midnight._ " Now his face was getting redder.

She dramatically rolled her eyes. "I know, but—"

"Do you know what bad guys do to naughty girls like you wandering around town at this time of the night?"

"Please stop interrupting me—"

"It's all my _fault_ ," he interjected.

But suddenly, her back was forced to be pressed against the wall as Ayato neared his bowing face to her. His arms caged her from one side and another, making her situation an inescapable enclosure, his body heat making her palms get drenched in sweat. She became a little nervous, wondering what he was planning to do, but she stopped short. He lifted his apprehensive eyes to meet hers, and she was surprised to see his orbs flicked with golden worry and concern.

Hatsune's eyes softened. "Nothing's your fault, Ayato."

He ignored her, and now he grabbed her shoulder in a firm hold. "Please, Hatsune," he said, voice an unusual tone of worry, concern, and _fear_ , gazing deeply into her stunned, burgundy eyes. "Think about _yourself_."

"I—"

"If you got hurt, just because you wanted to come here to see me, I'll never…I'll never be able to forgive myself."

"But—"

"If you got hurt on those streets," he interrupted, the hold he had on her shoulders growing ever firmer, eyes blazing even more intensely. "If you…got hurt in those streets…" Now he pulled her to him closer, tighter, sealing the distance between them in a hug…

"If you…you got…hurt in those streets…" he repeated again and again, whispering the breathless words to her ear, burying his head into the pillow of her yellow hair. Because the reality of what might have happened to her, the situation that she might have gotten herself into, just because of wanting to see him, it will make him regret his existence forever. She risked her life just to see him, one last time, even if she can barely even stand, even if she can barely even use her walking stick, and it would all be his fault if something happened to her.

"If you got hurt, I…" He closed his eyes, released a grateful sigh, and hugged her even tighter. "I…I'll never be able to see you again, Hatsune."

The girl arched an amused eyebrow, clearly entertained of the mighty Naoi Ayato admitting that he actually had a little heart—despite his bewitched name-calling and imminent teases—and concern for her, even just a little bit. But now, through his words, through the emotion he had on his words, he was able to prove to her that his concern was not 'just a little bit'.

He was full-on _worried_ about her.

Just the fact made her smile. Closing her eyes in blissful content, she hugged him back, using one hand to caress his long, green hair.

"There's no need to worry now, Ayato," she said, voice tender in his ear against the soft whirl of the wind. "We met each other again. I'm already here." She choked back tears. "Even if…even if for the last time."

Seconds passed, with Ayato still there, surrendering to Hatsune's arms. They stayed locked to each other in that blissful embrace, as, even if they uttered nothing about it, both of them knew that this may be one of their last hugs together. They would prefer staying like this forever, if it meant being in the other's presence for eternity. But as the peaceful silence ticked the remaining time away until Hatsune's flight three hours forward, Naoi lifted his head to look at Hatsune, wanting to tell her as much words as possible before they parted.

"But _next time_ , you stubborn young lady," he reprimanded, scowling, "if you _ever_ do that again, I _swear_ to the heavens above I'll chain you right in this very place."

She rested her head on his neck. "If only you knew how much I'd love that, Ayato Naoi."

Ayato sighed. "I know."

Seconds passed again, turning into more unnoticed minutes of happiness. They didn't want to say a word of reminder about the goodbyes they had to say—neither wanted to even _think_ about it—because they wanted this moment to last. But this time, when Hatsune opened her eyes, they were filled with sudden realization. As the far away clock from the church tower dinged the strike of twelve midnight, she suddenly looked so happy as if she might burst.

She just remembered what she came here for.

Pulling herself out of Ayato, she grabbed his shoulders, making him look at her.

"Ne, Ayato-kun," she bubbled out, forcing a giggle down her stomach.

He arched an eyebrow, curious of what suddenly made her so happy.

"It's exactly midnight," she continued, and she now teetered on her seat as she took both of his hands in hers. "Do you know what that means?"

He scoured the deep recesses of his convoluted mind, trying to grasp what this girl in front of him was trying to say. His face warped into a confused frown as he thought about it as deeply as he could.

"Er…it's Sunday?"

Hatsune giggled, a tinkling music to his ears. "No! Guess again."

 _Think, think, think_ …what good's happening this morning? What does this midnight mean?

"It's…uh…the start of the third week of January?"

The blond girl frowned when she realized that his confusion was genuine. "You _seriously_ don't remember?"

He dug deeper, rusted gears inside his head turning rapidly as he tried to remember. "It's…well…it's January 24th?"

Her frown suddenly exploded into a smile, like fireworks in the dark sky. "Hooray!" she cheered, and she shot an arm up into the air in glee, nearly knocking Naoi out. "Yes! You've got it, you've got it! You actually remembered! Hooray!"

"Oh, uh…um…yes, I…well…I remembered. Hooray." Naoi's smile was crooked, and he weakly imitated her by putting his fist up in the air. He desperately searched his mind to add something to what he just said. "So, er, today's your brother Yuzuru's wedding anniversary, right? Can I meet his wife sometime?"

Hatsune's smile evaporated and she slapped a palm onto her forehead. "My brother's never married, you twit. I swear you're as impossible as a bone." Then she grabbed his open collar and pulled him to her. "Lead me upstairs. The roof," she commanded, and pointed at the ladder on the side to emphasize what she meant. "I want to tell you something you _always_ forget."

"Hatsune, are you out of your—"

"Please?"

Ayato released an exasperated groan. "I fail to see the meaning of this."

" _Please_?" she begged again, giving him her best impression of puppy dog eyes.

As he stared down at her with his usual mordant look, something suddenly crossed his mind. He paused right there as he let the thought process and sink down into his brain, but several more seconds passed until his tired expression slowly morphed into an impish smirk. Mischief sparked his amber eyes, amused by the idea.

He delicately lifted her chin with a finger. "Then you leave me no choice, milady."

Next thing Hatsune knew, she was off of the ground and flying into the air, her long yellow mane fanning out as Ayato lifted her to his head. She laughed, and held onto Naoi's firm shoulders when she realized that she was already sitting on both his shoulders. Meanwhile, the boy's arms were placed onto her hands, which was wrapped around his neck, making sure they held each other tight and steady. Ayato pranced around the room for a little while more, enjoying the chiming little laughs of the girl on his back.

"Are you okay up there?"

She giggled, imagining how uncomfortable it must be for him to have her hips placed on his shoulders. But she didn't mind one bit. "I'm fine, Ayato-kun! Now move, my servant! Let's go to the roof!"

Ayato grumbled as he started to climb the ladder. "Excuse me, I am _not_ your servant…" which Hatsune just ignored.

When they reached the roof, cold air suddenly whipped their hair westward, meaning that Naoi had to eat some of her hair. She laughed again as he just angrily choked it out of his lungs, and, as he did, he suddenly lost his balance mid-gag. He tittered and lost grip onto Hatsune, and the girl tumbled out of his back, causing her to fall flat on her back onto the iron of the roof, her head just placed upside down opposite to the already-fallen Ayato.

She giggled again as both of them rose from their lying positions. They made themselves comfortable first, settling into a seat onto the iron railings of the roof. Hatsune giggled again as she swung her legs over the edge of the roof, back and forth, back and forth, remembering the event she just had with him earlier.

"I don't see anything amusing," Naoi interrupted. "Now, why did we even go up here again?"

She once again ignored the impatience in his tone. This happened every single year since the day they first met, since the day they started to be friends—and yet it's a wonder why he always kept forgetting. "I wanted to show you something from up here."

"Here we are. I see nothing special."

Hatsune turned her head up to look at the sky. "Look there."

Naoi immediately protested. "My neck will hurt if I—"

She whipped her head back to look at him scornfully. "Just do it!"

He sighed, and did as he was told, craning his neck to get this done. "Doing it."

"Okay, good. Tell me what you see."

It didn't take him a heartbeat to answer. "I see white dots glued to a black sheet of paper."

Hatsune can't resist a smile. Ayato Naoi, her sweet Ayato Naoi, always so cold and indifferent to the little things in life. It's just what he told her last year when she asked. And the year before that and the year before that year. It never changed. Ayato never changed being who he is. Just how she wanted.

So, she patiently placed a hand onto his shoulder, squeezing it tight, hoping to inspire him. "Look deeper, Ayato-kun."

Naoi took one look at the girl beside him, who was dreamily looking up at the stars, wondering what she found so amazing in hot balls of gas burning miles away from Earth. Nevertheless, he tried again, doing as he was told, and looked deeper.

That's when he realized they weren't just _dots_ glued to a black sheet of paper.

Instead, they were twinkling, little silicates of mini diamonds, scattered in glittering masses of colors and light, spilled across the black void in streams of milky stars.

And _that's_ when he remembered. He bowed his head down in shame. He didn't even keep up the promise he made to her last year. He wasn't even able to keep remembering his own birthday.

He smiled at her. "Thank you for reminding me once again, Hatsune."

"Atta boy, Ayato," she smirked triumphantly, playfully poking him in the ribs. "Finally. You remembered. Happy birthday, you fifteen-year-old scum.

He stopped short. Blinked once. Twice.

Thrice.

"I'm… _fifteen_?"

"Seriously, you're _impossible_." She dramatically rolled her eyes. "Are you an eighty-year-old hag in disguise or something? You've lost track of your birthdays already. You seriously have to get out of your pottering lair more often and remember these kinds of things in your life."

He smiled a bittersweet smile. "Why do you even bother to remind me when I always forget?"

"Because. I wanted you to remember the day that Ayato Naoi was born." She looked at him, claret eyes intent on yellow ones, gazing through the swaying blond hair that flew over her face. "I wanted you to remember, every year, that every time January 24th comes, you were born that _day_. Even if, every year, you break your promise of remembering it the next year."

"Why do I always forget it, and you never get tired of reminding me?"

"I already told you." She took his hand into her own, and entwined their fingers together as she looked up at the sky, inhaling the fresh scent of cherry blossoms in full bloom. "You always forget because you're an amnesiac twit. And I never get tired of reminding you because…" She slowly turned her head to face him. "…because it's the day you were born, Ayato-kun."

His eyes filled with moist, and he ducked his head so she could never see it. He let his dark hair fall in forestine curtains over his glistening eyes, fists shivering as he tried to keep it to himself.

"Hatsune…"

Hatsune's own throat constricted at the faint sound of his teary voice saying her name, as tears started pricking her own eyes. "When you look up at the stars, just remember to remember. Remember to always look deeper into things, remember that the name bestowed on you is just a name, and that it doesn't define who you are. Hayato's just a covering name. But _Ayato_ is what's truly inside." She placed her hand over his beating heart. "Don't forget who you are. Always remember…always remember that it's always Ayato-kun I fell in love with."

Naoi looked at her gazing eyes, and closed his own, pulling her into a hug.

"Hatsune…" Tears streamed down his face, and on her own, as well. They hugged each other even tighter. "Hatsune…I can't—I can't live without you. I'll just keep on forgetting. Please…let me…let me go with you to America—"

"Ayato-kun, p-please…" Hatsune gripped his neck to hers, her hold starting to shiver because of the tears that wracked her body. "Don't think like that. I don't want to stop you from your dreams."

"But my dream is _you._ "

Hatsune laughed, and used the back of her wrist to wipe out the wetness from her eyes.

"And you are mine."

"But what if I don't see you again, Hatsune? What if your disease gets worse and you had to get stuck in America forever—"

"Hush. Cancer? Nah. It's just a small bump in the road, trust me." But her voice shook with uncertainty as she said that, tears overwhelming her eyes once again. "I can get over it."

"Let me go with you to America. Please, Hatsune."

The girl suddenly pulled out of their hug. When she did, she saw Naoi's face streaked with tears. Her eyes welled up at just the sight, as if it hurt her to see him pained watching her go, with no chance left of seeing each other again. They knew it was the last time. In her current condition, chances of going back home to Japan were painfully less than a fraction of a hundred percent's one. Considering that she had to get confined in the American hospitals for long periods of confinement in chemotherapy and frequent treatment, the chances were slim, faint, almost zero. And Ayato can't follow her there, they both knew that just as much, because he'd be stuck in his training and he would surely be forbidden by his father. And besides, he can't even try running away from their home—because he was underage. By the time he'd have his own right of travelling without an adult's accompaniment and fly over the oceans in his home, he'd have to be eighteen years old, which was three years from now.

_Would a cancer patient even last that long?_

She smiled through the river of tears that suddenly flowed down her cheeks. That's it. She would never see him again. It was a bittersweet moment, saying goodbye when it was Naoi's birthday. But at least she got to remind him of the most important gift she'd ever give him, right? At least, whenever she dies, anytime, at anyplace, she'd always know that Ayato was safely living in this world, enjoying his life, even if it was without her. And she knew he'd thank her forever for reminding him that.

Just as she'd forever say 'thank you' to the only boy who'd been her friend, she also wanted him to say 'thank you' to her for the gift she'd always given him again and again every year. It was the gift of reminding him his birthday, every single year, giving him his annual updates of how old he was already. He always forgot. She always remembered how hilarious it was whenever she'd go to his house to greet him, and he'd have this priceless expression that said, "It's actually my _birthday_?" She'd giggle at the memory. It was a tradition, actually, since the day they first met when Hatsune tried to bake a cake for him on his sixth birthday. A tradition that she kept alive all throughout the years, never failing to remind him of the birth of his existence.

Next year, well…

She wasn't even sure if she'd be there to remind him anymore.

She wasn't even sure if she'd end up alive.

And she knew he was just thinking the same thing.

"Hatsune, promise me…" Ayato held both her hands firmly. "Promise me, next year, you'll be here to remind me."

She wasn't sure what to answer. Tears filled her eyes and she sniffed. She can't promise that she can stay alive in her weak body. She can't promise him anything at all. So instead of agreeing to do his promise, she just laughed, a strangled, tearful sound, and threw her arms all over him again.

"Just look up at the white dots, Ayato, and look deeper. You'll realize over and over again that they're not dots after all, they're _stars._ Just look deeper, and you'll see me there, and I'll see you there, too, whenever I look up at the American stars." She laughed through his dark green hair. "And this time, I promise you, I'll always be there to remind you. In the future years that I won't be there, you'll get reminded, every year, if…if you just look up."

She felt Naoi grip her even tighter, and Hatsune did, as well. A few seconds more of hugging under the glimmering starlight, among the crisp night wind of Japan, and the swaying cherry blooms of the yard, they briefly separated from each other once again. But this time, Ayato lifted her chin so she could look up at him. In silent agreement, they slowly closed their eyes, letting the wind furl away their forest and blond hair sway in perfect sink, as they started to lean in for a goodbye kiss—

" _Hayato!"_ roared Naoi's incoming father.

" _Hatsune!"_ cried the older Otonashi.

Hatsune jumped out of her nerves, shocked to the bone, abruptly turning her head to look at a worried Yuzuru. "Onii-san?"

Next it was Naoi, who gaped at the sight of his father staring horrifically at his son with a girl. "F… _Father_?"

The father crawled out of the roof entrance and stepped out into the night, stomping for his son, and lifting him up from the ground by grabbing at his collar. "So this was the girl distracting you all along?"

Meanwhile, Yuzuru rushed for his sister, frantically checking every inch of her body if she was alright. "Hatsune, you made me worried! Are you hurt or anything? Why are you out here? Why did you leave your room? Didn't you know I searched for you all around town and already called the police?"

"Hayato, you pathetic piece of garbage," growled Naoi's father. "I'm banning you from every contact in the outside world. I want you to stay in the property and never get out, understood?"

"But—but father, I—she's just Hatsune, and she and I—we—"

The burly hands of the father just curled into more menacing fists around his collar. "If I see you do this again, you're going to get it." The man dropped him to the floor, and, Hatsune, crying out in shock, yanked his brother away from her and rushed to Naoi's side, struggling to stand and run over to him even if she can't. She lifted his fallen face and forced him to look at her, coaxing him to open his eyes.

Then she pulled him to a hug. Again.

The last time.

"Thank you for everything, Ayato-kun. And happy birthday."

" _Hatsune…_ " He was crying now, gripping her tighter. "Please…don't leave now—"

"Goodbye."

And with that, she fled, leaving a tear-stained Ayato in the first hour of his birthday.

He stared at her, until she got into a taxi, until the taxi sped away.

A single tear dripping down his cheek, he clenched his fists, dropped to the ground, and held his head.

" _Thank you, Hatsune."_


End file.
